Weeds Of Doubt
Table of Contents

Preceded By: Weeds in the Basement
Followed By: Weeds in the Garden

Setting

Weeds of Doubt takes place less than a month after the events of Weeds in the Basement. The story centers around Gloria's attempts at "unbrainwashing" her children along with the Katz children.

Plot

The story opens up with Gloria having an epiphany that there must be a Satan if people like Katz family exist in the world, and ultimately that there must be a God. Unable to come to terms with such a reality, Gloria fills the kitchen sink up with water and attempts to kill herself by holding her head under water, however her children prevent this from happening. After failing to explain atheism to her children properly she realizes that she has not weeded out her garden in weeks and promptly goes outside to do so. While gardening Gloria sees her children invite the Katz children to play a game of football with them at the park and they leave together. Mr. Miller the traveling gardener explains a weed-related analogy to Gloria who takes the cryptic message as a suggestion to kidnap the children.

Gloria gets in her car and goes after the kids, she tells them that she is taking them all to the water park and that the rest of their families are already there waiting for them. The kids excitedly get into the car and Gloria drives away, taking them to a Hardware store. Gloria asks one of the attendants how much wood would be required in order to erect a cage big enough to hold several teenagers. The employee gets susoicious of her and immediately calls the police Ike & Tim who come to take Gloria in for questioning, leaving the children alone in the store parking lot.

After a few hours of waiting Todd Katz suggests that they drive themselves to the water park, assuring the Stephensonsen children that Gloria "won't mind". A squad car also arrives at the hardware store to pick up the kids just as the care pulls out and drives off.
After arguing her point across to the police officers Ike and Tim Boskowitz, Gloria is subsequently thrown into the drunk tank for disorderly behavior and her ID is ran through. The Thanksgiving 1994 incident shows up and the officers phone up Stan Stephensonsen via his mobile phone. Stan leaves his secret other family and goes to the police station to pick up Gloria who has not had any charges placed on her, but received a warning for child neglect (since some of the kids were 19 at the time).

Meanwhile the kids arrive at the water park to find that it is indeed closed for the winter, so they return to the hardware store to retrieve Gloria only for her to have vanished. The Stepehensonsen children suggest searching for her and the Katz children agree and begin combing the neighborhoods and streets looking for Gloria. The group discovers a drunken and irritable Pierre Hawkins wandering around aimlessly in the Townhill center, Pierre is allowed to ride with them at Crystie's behest - believing that he would know where Gloria is. Pierre requests a visit to the bar, but when they refuse he gets unruly and forces himself on Crystie - sparking jealousy in Angela over not being molested first. Pierre's shocking actions cause the car to swerve and crash into a nearby tree, the children work together and scare Pierre away from them. Angela, angry at Crystie runs off in search of Pierre saying that she will find Gloria faster on her own - when actually she meets up with him behind a Taco Bell dumpster and has intercourse with him.

Gloria and Stan are driving around asking passersby if they have seen her car anywhere and she recognizes Orndolf Kriegler from an anti-christian rally from the 1980's and she asks him if he has seen her car, he says that he has not seen her car but has seen a car with a bunch of kids in it. Gloria exclaims that that is in fact her car and drives off with Kriegler in the car.

While driving down the road the car with the Stephensonsen & Katz children race by them, nearly causing them to crash. Stan whips the car around in an attempt to catch up to them and ramrods the side of the car, forcing them off of the road and crashing into a nearby embankment.
After the children disembark from the stolen car Gloria does a head count and demands to know the whereabouts of Angela. The twins tell Gloria that she went chasing after a drunk guy and they eventually catch them making out behind a Taco Bell dumpster. Gloria forces Angela back into the car and claims to not know Pierre but assumes that he is strange anyhow.

The next morning both Angela and Crystie openly compete with each other for the affections of Pierre and nine months later each gives birth to triplets and twins (Angela only had two sons, but wanted a third to compete with Crystie so she bought a baby from a man at a Detroit Airport while working as a flight attendant). One year later they each have a baby they name "Wednesday" (out of hate for that particular day of the week). Pierre ends up marrying both women due to their volitile competitiveness.

Characters

*Gloria Stephensonsen
*Angela Stephensonsen
*Paul Stephensonsen
*John Stephensonsen
*Todd Katz
*Crystie Katz
*Bill Katz
*Sue Katz
*Reese Katz
*Pierre Hawkins
*Stan Stephensonsen
*Ike & Tim
*Orndolf Kriegler

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