Bradbury High School

Bradbury High School is a public high school enrolling grades from 9 - 12 and is located in East Knotsburg.

Current Faculty

*Ivar Mephisto -Principal
*Giocolina Excentrique -Head Secretary
*Faye Nicks -Attendance Notery
*Alessandra Estaire -Guidance Counselor
*Melinda Rubarb -Head Counselor
*Molly Cupboard -Life Skills Teacher
*Emily Havisham -US Government/Law teacher
*Ivana Mann -Gym teacher
*Mike Rotch -Gym/Driver's Ed Teacher
*Heinrich Kriegler -German Language Teacher
*Norman Phallus -Art Teacher
*Rosco Fatassky -Theater Teacher
*Imelda Budfarm -Social Sciences Teacher
*Betsy Witch -History Teacher
*Van Morisson -Computer Technology Teacher
*Reginald Dykestra -English teacher
*Robin Pines -Study Skills/Home Room Teacher
*Melody Sunhawk -American History Teacher
*Kimberly Locke -Librarian
*Amaya Fujimoto -Japanese Language teacher
*Javier Fuego -Spanish Language Teacher
*Dave Pacifistico -Economics/World Civics Teacher
*Waldo Samberg -Science Teacher
*Grunthilde -Lunch Lady
*Mr. Miller -Custodian
*Truantbot 6000 -Technically not faculty but used by Truant Officers affiliated with Bradbury.

Past Faculty

*William J. Buff founding principal - since retired
*Marcus Demarco retired principal - introduced the Japanese style of school uniforms

Notable Students

*David Stephensonsen
*Seth Stephensonsen
*Friday Hawkins
*Saturday Hawkins
*Sunday Hawkins
*Wednesday Hawkins
*Wednesday Stephensonsen
*Alyssa Cameron
*Blaine Meyers
*Roku Wasabi
*Jack Pudding
*Marty Perkins
*Georgia Peach
*Sabrina Lovelace
*Yamamoto Twins

Notable Alumni

*Gloria Stephensonsen class of 1976
*Marcia Katz class of 1976
*Dan Katz class of 1976
*Todd Katz class of 1991
*Angela Stephensonsen class of 1992
*Crystie Katz class of 1992
*Pierre Hawkins class of 1994 (dropped out)
*Paul Stephensonsen class of 1996
*John Stephensonsen class of 1996
*Bill Katz class of 1997
*Sue Katz class of 1997
*Reese Katz class of 1999
*Scadden Twins class of 2006

Mascot, Motto & School Colors

Bradbury High School's mascot is the fictional "Gnoll" (also spelled 'Knoll') of Dungeons and Dragons fame. The choice in character of a "gnoll" being the school's mascot has been widely attributed to the school's long history of geeks, nerds, and dweebs with no better after school activities than role playing and arguing about Star Wars over the internet.

School Motto
The school's motto is: "Money doesn't solve everything, but it can buy you a lot of stuff." The phrase was originally thought up by the school's founding principal William J. Buff who jokingly inserted it as a placeholder until a better motto came along, fifty-six years later one never came along and so it stuck.

School Colors
The school colors are; "Hot Pink", "Burnt Sienna", and "Gold". The color arrangement has been described by many as being chosen by greedy homosexual Mexicans.


The School has a large population of nerds (i.e. anyone who finds school to be entertaining) and Dorks (people who lack social lives and can usually be seen hanging out in the anime section of Video Stores). The beautiful people are outnumbered on a 3 to 1 ratio, making actual "pretty" cheerleaders and jocks a minority, this has greatly affected their chances at winning championships and awards.

Current Administration

As of 2011 the school is ran by Ivar Mephisto, and supported by several vice-principals, and an assortment of guidance counselors who act as liasons to the students, from the principal and vice-versa.

School Rules etc

Attendance Policy
Attendance is manditory at Bradbury High, if a student is suspected of being truant then a professionally trained technician will unleash the Truantbot 6000 which seeks out and destroys truants (it actually brings them back to the campus, however destroy sounds more intimidating and so it was left in the manual for obvious reasons).

Dress Code
Students at Bradbury High are required to wear uniforms identical to those worn overseas in Japanese schools, boys are required to wear a gakuran while girls wear the typical sailor fuku. Many parents and neighboring districts thought this was an odd move for a US school to adopt, however since their prinicpal at the time was anime-otaku it was made manditory and was first implemented in 1982 and has been a staple of Bradbury school life ever since and also brings in extra funds for the school due to the high cost of school uniforms.


The overall concept of Bradbury High paints an image of a corrupt, greedy, apathetic, and overall despotic institution complete with a cruel principal, manic attendance clerks, and teachers ranging from boring to psychotic.


*Bradbury High School is named after Horror author, Ray Bradbury famous for "Something wicked this way comes".

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